Tribute to my Mom

My novice trek into the world of blogging would not be complete without honoring my Mom, who forged into the cyber-world years ago before it was fashionable and mainstream.  Uncharacteristic of her peers of advanced age, she fearlessly took on the task of setting up her own blogs,”Memories and Moments by Granny Jo” and “Grandma’s Couch,” that had a loyal group of followers.  They enjoyed her recipes and associated stories about family and personal insights. With her physical health failing but her mentality ever stimulated, she was able to CONNECT with others in a virtual way, which gave her great satisfation and pride. Unfortunately, she passed away in 2008 – too soon.  I hope that her essence is floating on the airwaves and she is watching over my efforts.  I hope she is proud that I am continuing her legacy.  I intend to re-post some of her articles from time to time.  It keeps our DOTS CONNECTED…

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I grew up in an era without video games or computers to stifle my imagination. Instead, we were content with a coloring book and crayons (the box of 64, if you were lucky!) or a puzzle book. I was especially intrigued by the dot to dot puzzles and methodically followed the numerical or alphabetical pathway to unveil the “secret” pictures. Even though the picture was fairly obvious before you completed the path, it still was quite satisfying to watch it unfold as you connected the dots. Once the picture was revealed, you could stop awhile to admire your accomplishment and then move on to another challenge. So simple and pure and so fun!
Another game, that was usually reserved for pre-meal restaurant lag-time or waiting room distraction, used only a blank sheet of paper (the back of a placemat worked very well) and a pencil. First, the setup – dots had to be placed in an equidistant grid-like formation on the page (the more the better). Each person would take a turn to draw one line, anywhere on the grid, connecting only two dots. The object of the game was to prevent the other player from completing a full square and for you to complete as many squares as possible, in return. When you found a box with three completed sides, you gleefully completed a square and proudly placed your initial in the middle to “claim” that territory as your own. The person with the most completed squares won the game (and, most importantly, bragging rights). You had to learn to pay attention and to form a strategy to succeed. A life lesson on a placemat!
Now, I am older and still connecting dots of another kind with the same enthusiasm, strategy and sense of accomplishment. These dots are not on a page, but rather, they are the dots of our family tree. This is a more challenging exercise, as the dots are always in motion and sometimes they don’t want to cooperate. But, I keep plugging away at it because I believe that fostering healthy relationships within a family unit is an essential exercise that is often overlooked in our rat-race society. It really is our responsibility to seek out and facilitate connections between us. I prefer to think of it as an advanced version of my beloved dot-to-dot games. Hence the evolution of this new blog: Dot-Two-Dot Family Connections.
As we interact and share experiences (both good and bad) the lines between two individuals will take off in many directions and enrich and strengthen our relationships. This blog will share some of those experiences and, hopefully, inspire others to begin connecting the dots in their own relationships. Let’s reveal the secret pictures that make us special and work together to use the squares we claim to build a stronger family foundation…

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In this section, we will explore the impact that forming and keeping Traditions can have on the family unit.  Traditions don’t have to be elaborate, they can be easy and simple.  But the key to Traditions is that they have to be dependable and consistent.  The family will come to embrace Traditions only when they feel connected to something reliable and meaningful. This usually takes a facilitator, of sorts, to take the bull by the horn and begin the process.  Different Traditions will have various family facilitators.

For many, holiday traditions are the easiest to recognize, but the hardest to execute during the flurry of activity of the season.  But – it is possible to have a few special holiday Traditions that stand the test of time and bring the family together. Throughout the year, I will share some of our holiday Traditions and hope to hear about some of yours.

In our family, food has a place of honor and is the basis for many Traditional dishes and the stories that accompany them.  Many a family dinner occurs where we prepare special dishes that remind us of persons and events that have long passed, but still remain in our hearts.  Comfort food brings us all to a common table which is an important (and, sadly, vanishing in our society) Tradition of sorts and I will share some of our recipes and family stories that our Mother passed on to us.

So, WELCOME TO THE TRADITIONS PAGE! I hope that you will visit it many, many more times to get inspiration and ideas that are some of the key building-blocks of Family Connections.

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More info coming…As the Holidays roll around, come on back to this section to see (and share) some special memory making traditions.

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Excerpts from our Mom’s Cookbook and Blogstream: “I Smell a Memory”. Each of us has our own copy of this collection of family stories and associated recipes. As this blog progresses, I will share some of them with you.  A joy for the palate and the mind…

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To me, the opportunity to create some unique Traditions outside of the obvious is one of the keys to keeping the family connected throughout the years.  One of our Traditions is to have a small family play every year. I preface this with the fact that we are all Adults now (at least chronologically), so getting everybody to “buy in” is sometimes a challenge – and that is where the facilitator (ME, in this case) has to step in to keep the Tradition going.  I assure you, though, once the festivities have started everybody has a good time and we have created a special memory.  This Tradition started out during a family vacation in Santa Barbara with one of those Mystery Dinner Themed box games that my daughter gave us for Christmas.  We all sat around a table with our scripts and clues in hand and the CD queued up for directions and music background.  Eyes were rolling and wandering, looking for an escape route I suspect, and body-language was straight-backed, arms-folded, teeth-clenched kind of resistance.  Wow, this was going to be FUN!  Undaunted, I started the CD and after the first scene, we had gotten the hang of it and really began to act!  My Dad’s character was a Russian Spy and all of a sudden, this thick Russian accent came out of his mouth and we all (LOAO).  That truly broke the ice and then all of us tried to out-do the other with accents and improvisations.  At the end, we were laughing and wishing it hadn’t ended so fast.

The next year, I searched for a theme-related box kit and could not find one to my liking (or budget) and thought, “How hard could it be to write a play?”  So, I did one with a Western theme and integrated some activities to stretch the time out and included COSTUMES and props. I highly recommend the costumes, as they bring up the enjoyment and hilarity factor exponentially and also make great photo ops and, trust me, you will want to remember these (some of ours are shown here: remurdermysterymugshots).  The costumes can be home-made (think Halloween, on the cheap), as can the props (everyday household items, or things you buy at the 99-cent store).  In writing the parts, I tried to imbed personality traits that resembled that family member to make that part more personal and identifiable. I have included that script as an attachment to this blog – feel free to use it and revise it to fit your group (note, it has some adult-like language and activities – but you can revise it accordingly if you have young ones).  I also have attached another one from our trip to Big Bear Lake, CA that has an Indian Lore theme – as a keepsake from this one, we each created a glass jar with the nature items that we collected in preparation for the play.  Once this year’s Pirate Theme play has been performed, I will post that file as well (but I don’t want to give away the secrets before the family performs them).  Feel free to use any or all – but even more fun…create your own!

The Legend of Big Bear

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