On the Road Again…

October 2, 2011 in Home | No comments

In 2009, my Dad and I took a cross country trip in my minivan and shared many, many special moments and experiences.  But, our great country is VERY BIG and we missed quite a few locations, so we decided to continue our quest this year – this time in a motorhome ( Our RV Rental Demo ) with emphasis on the eastern seaboard.  Just like last time, we don’t have much of a rigidly planned itinerary, instead we will plan as we go and partake of the local events and activities and opportunities as they present.  We hope to see some of the more quirky and obscure parts of the country along with some iconic destinations and fall foliage while catching up with relatives and friends along the way.

I am so fortunate to have this opportunity to share this time with my Dad. Although there is never really enough time for everything, we have been able to create and share a special bond that will last forever in our hearts and minds.  These trips are a source of accomplishment and wonderment beyond compare for us.  Last time, we identified a positive thought for each and every day of our travels that came to us as an inspiration.  We will do that again on this trip as an affirmation that we can find something positive each and every day, if we take the time to look for it.

I want to thank my husband for being so understanding and supportive of me to go away for so long and I promise, once he is retired, we will share adventures and destinations like this together also. I want to thank my Dad, for having the spirit of adventure and self-confidence to venture out of a comfort zone to experience new things and re-visit the past during our journey (also for doing most of the driving, as I know he will).  Finally, I would like to invite all of you to travel along with us through the accountings on this blog. My goal is to provide regular updates of our progress (both geographically and personally), photos of interest, some recipes from the road and our daily words of inspiration.

So, put on your seatbelts, roll down the windows to let the wind blow through your hair, put your sunglasses on and get ready for our Road Trip 2011 (starting October 4) and discover what is around the next bend in the road!

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New Beginnings

September 28, 2011 in Home, Reminiscing | No comments

We are proud to announce that our family will be getting a new addition in May 2012.  Our daughter is having a baby!  This will be our first grandchild and we are looking forward to welcoming him or her into our loving arms.  As you can imagine, this will be a transition for all of us (especially the new parents) as our “youngest” is now 23.  You can see the anticipation and excitement in their eyes and also remember our own joys and fears when you realize that you are pregnant and your whole life is about to change. Hopefully, I can pass on some of my wisdom and experience to my daughter and help her adjust to her new motherly role, but we all know there is a crash course of motherhood and fatherhood that awaits them once their little bundle arrives!  We all survived it and I have confidence that they will also.

While walking with Dad in the park today, we reminisced about our own experiences.  He and my my Mom were barely past 20 years old and had been already “trying” for over a year – but timing was a bit off and my Mom was 5 weeks pregnant (same as our daughter is today, give or take) when she had to get on a ship to come back to the mainland from Hawaii (where my Dad was stationed).  Technically, she was not allowed to sail because she was pregnant, but she kept silent, fibbed (a little) and did it anyway.  Morning sickness + an ocean voyage – THAT must have been a real stomach turner!  How I wish that she was still with us to see her great-grandchild with my Dad.  I pray that she is watching over us, smiling and being a guardian angel for our daughter and her developing child.

It has been a long time since we had to have diapers (haven’t missed those much!), cribs, highchairs, strollers, security locks, bottles and binkies, baby food jars and little spoons that go zoom like an airplane, sippie cups and toys, toys, toys (if they can get them away from their uncle, great-uncles and Dad).  Looking forward to lullabies, first tooth, first step, first word, trips to Disneyland, Chutes and Ladders, Sing-Along DVDs, Peek-A-Boo, Patty-Cake, Little Piggies and “I Love You One…I Love You Two…I Love You Three…etc”, Christmas and Easter Egg “hunts”, Butterfly Kisses and Bear Hugs.  Then comes the whirlwind of years that fly by:  potty-trained (at last!), first day of school, taking off the training wheels, science fairs, recitals and sports, homecoming, puppy love, teen-angst (yuck!), prom, graduation, college, career, engagement, marriage and children of their own.

First official advice from Grandma and Grandpa:  Time goes quickly so make the most of every precious day.

 

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Commitment vs Convenience

September 16, 2011 in Home | No comments

As Dad and I walked in the park this morning, we took it slow as it had been quite awhile since we had walked regularly.  The summer heat was too much for us, so we suspended the activity for the duration.  Not only did we miss the exercise, but more importantly, we missed our philosophical talks and observances about the world and about each other.  So, with our re-start of our walks, so to, did we re-start our discussions. We talked of the recession, the state of or government and some observations about relationships today.  In the end, all of our endpoints fell to a collective decision of two choices: commitment vs convenience.

Convenient choices are short-term, often self-serving, border unethical or illegal on occasion, greedy on some level or another and easy.  Divorce, affairs, schemes, fraud, waste, pollution, filibuster and the list goes on…are all some manifestation of convenience.  On the other hand, commitment tends to be long-term, giving, responsible, serves collective good and mostly hard.  Staying the course with a sense of purpose and service, thinking of the other person (people) in your life and those that you have never met, respecting each other and the environment and so many other selfless acts of kindness and generosity (monetary and emotional). Commitment takes a conscious effort, whereas convenience is more opportunistic.  Maybe that is why convenience seems to be ahead of commitment in the human race today…

You may be wondering if this rant belongs in this particular blog page about Family Connections, or not.  I believe that there is a connection because I have been fortunate to experience it first-hand, on many levels in my family.  Now, don’t get me wrong, we are NOT saints by any means and convenience has shaped many a decision in our family-tree.  What is true, though, is that the decisions and actions borne through commitment have really been the lasting glue of our family that has survived generations – and we are all better off for it. When we explore the threads in our family fabric, it becomes evident that the strength of the cloth lies in the inter-weaving of commitments that give us strength and longevity. Today’s families are really struggling and vulnerable to convenience over commitment and this is eroding our values and principles to the detriment of us all.  I would like to share a few simple examples of how commitment has shaped my own family and helped us to remain connected.

Some of our family immigrated to America to seek a new life.  They were not wealthy and this commitment was a hardship, not a pleasure cruise by any means.  Times were hard when they arrived.  A new language, new culture, obstacles and prejudices engulfed them. They reacted with ingenuity, hard work and an urgent sense of commitment to make their way in their new world. Their strength and fortitude brought them through it and allowed those that followed them to enjoy our freedoms and advantages.

Hard work and commitment to your job, profession or business is an ethic that has been passed down through our generations – pride in yourself and your ability to do the best job you can do. My grandparents were farmers, steel workers and truck/bus drivers – arduous hours invested in making a good living for their families.  My parents were entrepreneurs who worked together to build a successful business.  All of them set an expectation of success and excellence and pride that we try to pass on to our children, no matter what vocation they have chosen. Even in the midst of an unplanned failure or loss – we can all hold our heads high because we know that our commitment profiles our value and talents.  Sometimes, we have had to re-invent ourselves into new roles, but stay committed to evolving in a positive direction – even when it might have been easier to just give up or choose a negative alternative.

We hold our traditions close to our hearts and make a concerted effort to bring the family together to celebrate holidays, special family occasions and accomplishments and rites of passage.  It would be easier (i.e. more convenient) to let everybody just “do their own thing”, but it would also start to erode at the edges of our traditions until they became non-existent. The commitment to repeat the traditions is important to the legacy that the traditions represent.  We resist the urge to take the easy route lest we should leave our fond memories on the side of the road.

When demons knock on our door, it takes commitment to overcome and control them by binding ever closer to those that we love.  This is when family ties become very important.  The concept of unconditional love and support is the pinnacle of commitment and is invaluable when hard times are at hand. It would be more convenient to ignore or ostracize; and certainly more convenient to abandon or avoid – but in our family, the commitment to support and help those in need has mostly overpowered the convenient cop-out.  This has resulted, not only in a faster recovery and successful outcome for the unfortunate, but also in strong ties between us and the comforting assurance that we are not alone.  When we need each other, there is a positive response and with that, the bonds that connect us grow stronger with trust and love.

I encourage you to reflect on the commitments within your own family trees which have strengthened and nurtured the love and trust that exists within.  Learn from these sacrifices and assimilate them into your daily lives.  Pass the ideals down to your children and grandchildren.  Take the time to commit to each other in tangible and ethereal ways.  Be less tempted by the easy and convenient road.  Work on making your marriages work, invest time in nurturing your kids.  Make the best of your job – even if it is tedious it is still the means of financial comfort and stability in today’s unstable world – do your best to appreciate and commit to doing the best you can do and have pride in your accomplishments. Invest more effort in positive thoughts and actions and avoid negativity as much as possible.  Set the bar for commitment over convenience.  Commit to invest in your family – the rewards are long-term and satisfying.

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What Once Was You (a 9-11 tribute)

September 11, 2011 in Reminiscing | No comments

I originally composed this poem in honor of my Mother for her Memorial Service.  I think the words speak to the hearts of anyone who has lost a loved one.  On this 10-year anniversary of the tragic 9-11 attack, I would like to share these words with those who lost loved ones on that day and for those who continue to be sacrificed in our fight against terrorism.  I hope that they provide some comfort, peace and closure to their hearts and minds.  Take the time to remember your loved ones that have passed and don’t delay the opportunity to tell those that are still with you that you love them.

What Once Was You

What Once Was You, is still pulsing all around us,

In the memories and thoughts that tied and bound us.

You may be gone, but we can still sense your presence,

There is no form, but there are remnants and essence

Of the love and laughter, helping us to make sense.

What Once Was You, was complex – yet somehow, so plain.

A potpourri of petals will always remain –

Its fragrance guiding us to where we’ve never gone,

To lift our faces up each day to face the dawn

And plant our own gardens of petals and wisdom.

What Once Was You, tenderly touched out heart and mind –

Molding personalities – intelligent, bold and kind.

These gifts you gave us, we will have for a lifetime –

The tools of wit and spunk and balance and rhyme,

Aromas and music and travel and mealtime.

What Once Was You, will now be our inspiration

To hand tradition down by each generation.

To weave the sights, the sounds, the smells of our heart-song

Into fabric that blankets and comforts the throng –

Reminding us, softly, that we always belong.

What Once Was You, would want us to be brave and strong

To continue to move our daily lives along.

But, never forget from where we’ve come and gone.

We pledge to you that we will always say and do

And act with love, in honor of – What Once Was You.

What Once Was You, will live on and on forever

In those left behind and those coming together

To celebrate all that you held so dear and true

And to lift itself up to the heavens’ azure blue

As we recant the milestones of What Once Was You.

(Photo by:  Michael Isaacs 8-2011)

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Grandpa is an Eagle

September 9, 2011 in Reminiscing | No comments

Excerpted from my mother’s blog (Memories and Moments by GrannyJo) from September 11, 2006:

My dad passed away in ’65 at the young age of 58. I still miss him very much today, we were very close and much alike. I also was extremely close to my maternal grandfather. Grandpa Ralph used to take walks with me and tell me stories of his life in Italy, and I still remember his promise to buy me a ‘pony’. He didn’t live long enough to do that.

It’s getting pretty close now to Grandpa Ralph’s 120th birthday and my dad’s 99th. On this day of remembrance and mourning for all those who have gone to untimely deaths because of 9-11 and the resulting conflicts, I spent a lot of time thinking about how rough it is to lose loved ones, and also on how youngsters react to losing someone from their lives. I went back through some of the poetry I’ve written and found this poem from 1972–one of those thoughts that come in the night that you just have to get up and put down on paper. IMO, they come from the memories of the reactions of childhood to losses that we cannot understand. Thought I’d share it here with you today:

GRANDPA IS AN EAGLE
Grandpa is an Eagle,
Last night I saw him fly
Up, from the grass on his own front yard–
Going fast and soaring high.

Grandpa is an Eagle,
So, loved ones, don’t you cry.
Grandpa is an Eagle;
But, first he had to die.

I was six years old and the air was cold,
Early in the month of May.
“You won’t be going to school,” I was told,
“Because Grandpa died today.”

They laid him out in his Sunday best,
The neighbors all came around;
And I watched and wept with all the rest,
As they put him in the ground.

So many nights I dreamt him,
And the way it used to be;
Guess my Grandpa wanted to spend
A little more time with me.

In my dream one night, he hugged me tight,
Next, I only saw a bird,
Flapping its wings before it took flight;
And this is what I heard–

TELL THEM!

Grandpa is an Eagle,
Last night I saw him fly
Up, from the grass on his own front yard–
Going fast and soaring high.

Grandpa is an Eagle,
So, loved ones, don’t you cry.
Grandpa is an Eagle;
But, first he had to die.

That was forty long years or more ago,
Grandpa never came again–
But, there’s times when the month of May is cold
That my memory mourns for him.

Then, when I get to feeling sad,
Wondering why all death must be–
I hear again his happy voice,
Singing out to me….

TELL THEM!

Grandpa is an Eagle,
Last night I saw him fly
Up, from the grass on his own front yard–
Going fast and soaring high.

Grandpa is an Eagle,
So, loved ones, don’t you cry.
Grandpa is an Eagle………
But, first he had to die.
(copyright 1972)

Click Link to view Video:  Flying Eagle (from YouTube 2006)

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A Labor Day Memory

September 3, 2011 in Reminiscing, Traditions | No comments

Buhl Farm Park, with its large grassy expanses and towering trees, swings and play areas, winding roads where we used to wash/wax our cars and ride our bikes, the band-shell where many a concert was attended, the community swimming pool and the infamous snow sledding hill was the favorite spot for family picnics and reunions.  Labor Day was especially important, not only
because it marked the end of summer, but also because the region was
predominantly steel mills and factories where the American Union workers were
quite loyal and proud – my family among them.

 The large stone reserved picnic pavilion is where most of the Bishop and Falvo/Combine Family Reunions were held.  I can still envision the games of softball, football, horseshoes and badminton that had we played in the adjoining
field.  Those picnics were real events.  In addition to the traditional hot dogs and burgers, everybody brought dish after dish of homemade scrumptious family ethnic foods (ziti, lasagna, hunter’s chicken, potato and macaroni salads, sausage with peppers and onions, fried greens, corn, ham, scalloped
potatoes (See Traditions/I Smell a Memory for the recipe), dandelion salads, homemade rolls and cakes, pies and desserts of all descriptions).  There
was plenty of free flowing beer, wine (some home-made) and soda.

      Boys would go to the lake and bring back all sorts of frogs and toads and salamanders, just to startle the girls and the moms. People came early and stayed late as radios blared Italian or contemporary music and baseball commentators.  We played cards and checkers and, except for a few transient family feuds, enjoyed each others’ company.  The evening was often topped off with sparklers or fireworks and running through the grass with our glass jars – trying to catch fireflies.

It was a time when families were not so far apart and extended families stayed
connected.  It was a time of togetherness that left us with the special remembrances of those days. Today, we usually find it too hot in Las Vegas to spend the day at the park and extended family members are spread out across the nation or have gone to heaven, so our celebrations are smaller and closer to home.  However, we still usually spend time together with good food, good music and good company and use the pool at home for the Labor Day holiday picnic.  Still making memories and spending time together is important to us because it keeps us focused on family connections – a Labor of Love.

 

 

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Boy, That Smells Good (Aunt Lee’s Scalloped Potatoes)

September 3, 2011 in Traditions | No comments

(Excerpted from I Smell a Memory, by Joanne S. Bishop 2003)

What is your earliest memory of the mouth-watering smell of something good? For me, it came on a cold winter’s day, several weeks after my uncle and his new wife came to live with us.  They were married in October of 1939 and times were hard on newlyweds then, just before the USA went into WWII, so they settled into one of our bedrooms and shared the kitchen until they could find and afford a place of their own.  Though I was just under four years old, I can remember most of the first-hand observations I made of some of the different ethnic practices of the first non-Italian member of our family – Uncle Mike’s wife, Lee, who was of German descent.

On this particularly frosty day, some time in November, I had crawled up on our living room sofa to look out of the window and watch big flakes of snow fall through the beam of the street lights that had just flickered on against the gloom of the late afternoon, when I was drawn by a magnetic aroma that wafted from the kitchen where Aunt Lee was preparing their dinner.  Jumping down from the couch, I scooted from the living room, maneuvered around our big dining room table and on sturdy three-year old legs, followed the mysterious (potatoy/oniony) smell – different from anything I had ever caught scent of cooking in our home before.

In the kitchen, I watched has as she pulled a casserole from the oven to test the potatoes that, nestled in a creamy, white sauce, were beginning to turn golden brown on top.  That, alone, was enough to stop me in my tracks.  Cook with milk?? Never, in my short years of experience in that Italian family; they would talk about it for months to come.  Uncle Mike would surely starve!  She gave me some, though, when it was all tender and golden, and I was hooked for life.

Bolstered by the fact that Uncle Mike had not yet starved to death (or been poisoned), the rest of the group finally worked up the courage to try her casserole at one of our picnics.  They mobbed her for the recipe!

 Aunt Lee’s Scalloped Potatoes

(Serves 4 to 6)

Preheat Oven to 375 degrees; Bake casserole on a foil-lined cookie sheet to catch any boil spill-over.  Generously butter bottom and sides of a 9 x 13 glass baking dish.

4 Large Russett Potatoes – peel, slice thinly and place into a bowl of cold water  1 Large onion – peel and slice thinly

Mix together 1/2 cup Flour, 1 Tablespoon salt and 1 Teaspoon pepper

Add 4 Tablespoonfuls of melted Butter to 2 cups whole milk (substitutions for even creamier potatoes:  2 cans Evaporated Milk or 1 Quart of Cream)

Drain the potatoes well, overlap a layer on the bottom of the baking dish. Place some onions on top of the potatoes.  Sprinkle the flour/seasoning mixture over the potato/onion layer.  Repeat:  potato layer, onion layer, seasoned flour layer – until all are used.

Pour the milk/butter mixture over all to cover (you may need to add more milk or cream to bring the volume up to cover all layers).

Tightly seal with foil or lid.  Bake 1 hour at 375.  Lower heat to 325 and remove cover to allow the top to brown and all is tender (approx. 45 more minutes).

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Mothers and Daughters

August 31, 2011 in Encouragement, Reminiscing | No comments

Herein lies a complicated relationship – mothers and daughters.  As I look back on the relationships of my Mom and her Mom, me and my Mom and my daughter and myself – there is a common thread that repeats itself through the generations. The evolution of this relationship has MANY phases of development which can best be summarized by three phrases:

“I want to grow up to be just like Mommy!” Those big blue eyes study you putting on your make-up or stirring cake batter or playing the piano. To you, they are routine, mundane daily activities – but to her, they are like magic.  You can see her little wheels turning as she studies and mimics your every move and asks a million questions.  Wearing a party dress and ribbons in her hair while clomping around in your high-heels – she is a princess. Dancing and twirling on the stage in her recitals or singing a choir solo – she is an angel. Splashing water “fireworks” in the pool to a symphony of music – she is a mermaid.  She is full of hopes and dreams and unconditional love.

“I will NEVER be like my Mom!!” Adolescent angst and tears sometimes stream from those big blue eyes these days. Hormones surge, rebellion bubbles to the surface and staunch independence replaces loving admiration. A battle of wits and wills can overshadow even the simplest of issues.  Arguments and disagreements can be exhausting – thankfully, they are not the entire norm. We both look forward to the quiet times when we can capture a bit of the magic of days gone past – shopping for a prom dress, going to Disneyland, Christmas morning, reading Harry Potter together in bed… “School daze” fogs her mind and tempers clash, but somehow we survive it all. The hopes and dreams and unconditional love are, ultimately, our salvation.

“I never thought I would say this, but you were right all along” (A.K.A. I sound just like my Mom!) Those words are the ultimate high for any Mom to hear! There eventually comes a time when all of the personal investment, support and love kicks in and your daughter reaches the level of maturity that allows her to see the merit in your relationship. Once again, she asks for and appreciates your opinion and remembers all the advice and mentoring that you shared with her over the years.  She shares insight and perspective with you as a woman who has come into her own. The doors open again to bonding, learning from each other and genuinely enjoying each other’s company. Watching her graduate, celebrating her job promotions and recognitions, planning her wedding and sharing a Spa Day all bring joy and love to our relationship.  Your princess, your angel, your mermaid – all grown up.  Her big blue eyes are, once again, full of hopes and dreams and unconditional love – just like mine.

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Pragmatic Theory.

August 30, 2011 in Encouragement | No comments

SPLASH! Make one every day.

True encouragement lies in recognizing and celebrating the uniqueness of an individual.  Our children sometimes find pathways that we had almost nothing to do with as a parent.  In this, lies their true self. Although it is much easier to encourage them in the direction that you have chosen for them, it is true love to encourage and respect their own path, even when it diverges from your personal vision.

In our son’s case, he has found and developed quite an affinity and artistic talent for photography and has forged out to pursue it on a semi-professional level (business cards and all). This evolution from a hobby to a passion has been inspiring and exciting to watch. He has found an artistic niche that supplements his income, yet still is pursuing his academic goals (what more could a mother ask for?).

He has a website sampling of his photography and metaphoric interpretations that is quite beautiful and introspective.  We hope you will take the time to visit (and enjoy) his site (http://misaacsspeak.tumblr.com/).

 

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Waves of Memories

August 29, 2011 in Reminiscing | No comments

Our family vacation often takes us to the beach – this year we vacationed in Carpenteria, CA.  The rhythm of the waves washed over us with a calming and relaxing effect and gave us time to create new bonds and opportunities to reflect and reminisce. The sea-breezes wafted in through the windows and the sun sparkled on the water to re-energize our spirits, decompress our stress and help us focus on connecting the dots between us.

Connections between us grew as we worked together on assembling the pieces of our jig-saw puzzle.  Much like our family, the varied shapes and colors eventually came together to create a beautiful picture.  Even though some of our family pieces are now missing, we can remember the times past when loved ones, now gone, “puzzled” with us. We also had a new member with us this time.  Being 15 in this day and age, means Smartphones, video games and social networking – so it may have been a shock to wind down to the manual task of puzzling – but he was up to the challenge and eventually migrated to the table and was actually quite good at locating pieces – partially due to his young eye-sight but also some instinctive trait that he likely inherited from his father (our daughter’s new husband) who is also quite adept at puzzles.  Of course, most importantly, the actual puzzle was secondary to the real goal of sharing across generations and coming together to accomplish a memory.

Puzzle 2011

 

A hilarious time was had during our family play:  Redemption Island (see TRADITIONS for some pics and a link to the script). Getting silly together can really be an ice-breaker.  We started with an arts and crafts project to design our own personalized treasure chest.  Since our ages ranged from 15 to 74, it was a little bit of a challenge to get them all motivated, but I knew that I could count on their competitive nature to kick in – and by the end of the project, some of them went to great lengths to make theirs “the best”.  Next, came the challenge of costumes.  They all knew their character in advance, so some of them brought outfits and props and I filled in with some homegrown and inexpensive items. No one, but me, has seen the entire script.  I try to weave in parodies of our real lives and personalities to make things familiar, yet also supply a surprise ending – so I keep the script a secret until the acts are performed (and ad-libbing is encouraged).  We are all adults, but we acted like kids and hammed it up – it is always a good time.

Food is a big part of our vacation enjoyment and we eat most of our meals at our rental as a family.  All of us cook, so we can share the burden (and the compliments).  It not only saves some cash when feeding a lot of people, but it also provides an opportunity to share the experience and try new things. Ethnic or party themes (Mexican, Middle Eastern, Asian, Italian, Polynesian, etc) work well to pull together menu concepts and to create more of an “event” than just a plain meal – it is also interesting to pair the beverages and dessert to complement the theme.  In years past, I have worked the dinner plan into that night’s play (e.g. BBQ spread with a Western Theme).  This year, as something new, we went to the Caribbean one night with some Jerk Pork and tropical drinks.  I also prepared some Lentils (see “I Smell a Memory” for the recipe) – which I thought might be a bust, but actually were a hit (and healthy too)! The meals were great, but the coming together of our family was the sweetest dessert of all.

For my daughter there were new experiences shared with her husband and his son as they ocean kayaked, played ladder golf, multiple card games and worked on the puzzle.  We introduced him to the game of Cribbage (a family, competitive, tradition), my husband helped him with getting his kite to fly and our son shared some soccer moves.  It has been awhile since we had a teenager around, so it took adjustments on all sides, but we hope that he was comfortable and enjoyed his time with us and look forward to future visits together.  As a parent, it was special to see our daughter grow into another role as a wife and life-companion.  We wish them all many happy years that grow into a strong and lasting bond – vacations, such as these, will give them a good start on lasting relationships.

Flying Kites

Like the tides, we come and we go – but we forever carry the fond memories of the special times that we share with each other and look forward to the next time…

 

'Til we meet again...

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